you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
