Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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