We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The adults are the big ones right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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