So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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