Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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