guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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