I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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