I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
