this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
