I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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