Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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