..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
