I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
