i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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