Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
