i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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