ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
