Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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