..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
