Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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