let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
