ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
