Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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