i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
