Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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