I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize