Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
