so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
