we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
