oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
