Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
