The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
