Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
being pregnant is like rehab
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
