He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
