Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
