you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
