We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
