I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
