I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
