who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
