had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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