I want to stick my p in your. b.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I need to calm my uterus...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
