I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
