so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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