Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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