batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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