ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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