They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
