you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
