i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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