you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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