Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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