Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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