I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
