The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I currently don't understand fingers.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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