a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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