i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You've changed since you got that strap on
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
