All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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