I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
