i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
